Way back in January, I thought it might be fun to make a crochet mermaid-tail blanket for a friend’s 8-year-old daughter’s August birthday. I searched out patterns on Ravelry and landed on an adorable version with crocodile-stitch scales and actually got a little taken in by the newness of it.
Thinking a pink and purple variegated yarn was a good choice (ha!), I bought the local Joanne’s out of their Red Heart Plum Pudding and ran home to get started, naively thinking the project would progress quickly.
I was over it by the 10th row.
So it languished.
And it collected dust.
And it stared at me from the kitchen table where I laid it thinking foolishly I’d get in a row here and there in between cutting and stirring and frying.
But it did not grow.
No little elves came to finish this project.
And I thought to myself – I have time.
And I distracted myself with other things. Other projects. ANYTHING but the boring mermaid-tail blanket in the hideously unicorn-vomit colored, scratchy, cheap acrylic yarn. I would do anything not to handle the stuff. (When did I become such a yarn snob?)
And then it was August.
Oh August I hate you.
And the stupid mermaid-tail blanket from hell still hadn’t finished itself. Damn.
So back to the couch it moved. I worked on this damned dreadful thing every waking minute. And I ran out of yarn. So did Joanne’s. Shit.
I improvised with a dark purple stripe and surprisingly, it knocked the edge off of the overwhelmingly bright pink and purple acid trip of acrylic hideousness.
Just to be clear though, I would have totally subbed bailing string just to get this monstrosity DONE!
And done it is my friends. The ends are woven. The tail, made separately, was hastily stitched on. Thank you baby Jesus, the damned thing is finally done.
But did I get a picture of this thing that has plagued me for so many months? No. I did not. In my haste to be rid of it, I completely neglected snapping so much as one picture of it in its brightly colored glory.
If you think you want to make one for yourself, be warned, the damned thing dredges on and on and on and progress is slow. Then, when you near the end, its sheer volume threatens to suffocate you. Don’t try this as a summer time project. Also, buy A LOT more yarn than you think you will need. This thing ate yarn just slightly faster than it ate at my soul – steadily, relentlessly and without fail. I used 5 skeins of the Red Heart Super Saver and the better part of a Caron One Pound skein.
Thank God its over.